13 Why I am not keeping this blog bilingual anymore

To all my English Followers: This is concerning YOU! Because I'm not going to blog in English anymore, but go and read the whole story, because I'm also going to start a new blog only in English. I'll start from the very beginning

I'm finished. It's too much, I can't stand it anymore and I only feel dryed out of it. There are so many words to describe how I feel about blogging in English and German on one blog and translating every single post on it, only a few days after I started it. It was a crazy idea, like so many, and the more time went on, the more I realized, how much madness blogging in two languages at the same time, by translating everything. I love blogging in English, you know. I love the language. It's more my second language than Chinese ever was, even though my mother is Chinese and a bit embarrassed, because we mistake each other much more than normal mothers and daughters. (Okay, I actually don't want to depress you with my personal stuff, but now I've written it)

Blogging bilingual is a hard project. Already a few weeks after I started it I struggled about it. Because I couldn't just let my thoughts flow from my mind through the keyboard onto the screen, because when I did that, I wasn't finished. I wasn't finished, because I still had to translate. Wanted to. I don't know exactly, what drove me to this alll year long, but fact is, that I did it. And I don't regret. It was still kind of fun, and it's a great feeling to look back and know, that you did, that you really managed to blog in two languages for almost a whole year. It was an interesting experience and I learned a lot, not only English.

0 Das furchtbare Kreuz, das es ist, zweisprachig zu bloggen, oder: Noch ein Blog? /The awful crux it is to blog bilingual, or: another blog?

Wie ihr wisst (und es direkt vor eurer Nase habt) blogge ich zweisprachig. Jeder kleinste Scheiß (von ein paar dunklen Ecken mal abgesehen) ist komplett auf Deutsch und Englisch. Als ich damit angefangen habe, wusste ich nicht, was alles auf mich zukam. Ich hatte zwar eine Ahnung, dass es anstrengend werden würde, aber was ich nicht ahnte war: Es hält auf. Man kann nicht mal nebenbei noch einfach etwas raushauen was einem in den Sinn kommt. Jeder einzelne Beitrag braucht die doppelte bis dreifache Zeit die er normal bräuchte, um geschrieben zu werden. Ich versuche zwar auch immer wieder mal einfach spontan etwas zu schreiben, aber dann veröffentliche ich es doch Tages später, weil ich in dem Moment keinen Bock habe, alles noch einmal zu übersetzen. Um meine verrückten Gedankengänge schnell mal zusammenzufassen ist einfach keine Zeit. Wenn schnell mal was ist, das mich total interessiert? Tja. Ich hatte es schon öfters, dass ich irgendetwas aktuelles kommentieren wollte, aber als ich Wochen später den Entwuf dafür wieder entdeckt habe, war alles schon wieder kalter Kaffee. Weil ich genau an dem Tag wieder keine Zeit zum übersetzen hatte.

As you know (and as you're having it right in front of you) I'm blogging bilingual in both German and English. Every single shit (except of a few dark corners) is completely in German and English. When I began with that, I didn't know all the stuff that was coming up to me. I slightly had an idea, that it would be exhausting, but what I didn't know was: It impedes. You can't blog anything by the way, just because it come up to your mind. Every single entry needs twice or threefold the time it usually needed to be written. I'm actually trying to write something spontanously, but then again I still publish it days later, because at that moment I'm not up to translating everything again. To centralize my crazy chains of thoughts quickly there's no time. What if there's something inbetween I'm really interested to? Yeah. I had that often, that  wanted to comment some of the latest news, but when I discovered the draft weeks later, it was only the new that queen anne was dead. Because on that day I didn't have the time to translate.